Wednesday, 22 April 2009

The new health drive

And so it begins. A new attempt at getting fit and my life a little more balanced. Right now I'm not sure that I'm looking after myself so well - at least across the board with the whole body, soul, spirit thing anyway.

From now on I shall be keeping up to date with my health blog: trying to eat more healthily, exercise, get some mental/spiritual time in and attempt to balance my resources. By which I mostly currently mean money, but I'm sure will turn out to be more than mony in the long run. Mind you since right now the bank are cross with me for not having enough money to cover the bills that people tried to take out of my account it does seem that moolah is a fairly pertinent place to start though.

Task number one: obtain income.

Possible solutions: sell body parts on black market, form band and become high-grossing rock star, rob bank, trouble shoot fr extremely high powered business executives, secretly convince everyone who meets me to give me large sum of cash, patent some form of incredible gadetry, get job.

Possible obstacles: necessity for body parts, lack of musical talent or business know-how, lack of balaclava, guilt at stealing money from friends, slightly bizarre current job schedule.

Task number two: clear up nonsense surrounding current study.

Possible solutions: send horde of rampaging komodo dragons to HQ of training organisation, hire ninjas to kill all training executives, hire MI6 agents to convince training executives to give me my diploma right now, wait until July for third attempt at graduation, decide that having a piece of paper to say that I finished isn't really all that important.

Possible obstacles: dragons are notoriously hard to train (also: current lack of dragons), ninjas don't exist (and if they did you wouldn't know about them anyway so you couldn't get in touch with them - but the A-team might be possible), MI6 probaly has some kind of conscience about performing operations for personal gain - especially on commonwealth soil, paper is nice - especially since I worked my ass off to get it.

Task three: get fit

Possible solution: exercise, exchange bodies with someone who is already fit using futuristic consciousness transferral device, brew potion that magically alters genetic make-up of body to be inherently faster and stronger than the average black panther (think million dollar man or 5th element [but male]).

Possible obstacles: laziness, lack of suitably fit other body, no cauldren.

The quest continues....